My Expectations Are Being Met

That title sounds rather snooty. Sorry. It refers to my earlier post about lowering my expectations so I wouldn't be dismayed at the daily big mess that my toddler (or other children) creates. Ever since I typed that post, I've been watching for a day with no mess. It hasn't happened yet. So I thought it would at least be entertaining to record the daily mess and some day five or six years from now, I can look back and laugh about it all. In case you're wondering, adjusting my expectation has worked. I can pretty consistently just let the mess go without getting angry about it.

I chose to begin this mess diary today both because more than one of my children were involved, and because there is a theme for today.

December 6, 2008: Spaghetti Day
Today I cleaned spaghetti messes indoors and out. Kid #5 did a repeat of his spaghetti-crunching episode of a few weeks ago. I found a trail of dry pasta leading from the kitchen cupboard, through the hall, and ending at a large pile in his room. Today he must have discovered that the crunch quality increases with pasta quantity. I asked him to help me sweep it up and let him operate the dust pan...thrice. I thanked him for his help and sent him on his way after he missed the trash can all three times and re-dumped on the floor the pasta I had just swept.

After finishing with the dry pasta, I peeled wettish, saucy pasta off our sidewalk. I'm guessing a child on our street must have brought lunch with him/her when he/she decided to play with the rock mulch in our yard. Fortunately it must have been a boring endeavor, because I didn't have to replace too many rocks. Unfortunately, he/she must have been carrying the pasta bowl with one hand at a 45-degree angle, because it was strewn across several sidewalk squares. I noticed it earlier in the day and had hoped a dog would enjoy the free meal. Instead, it went in the trash with my $4 worth of dry pasta.

In an attempt to save me the hassle of trimming her hair, Child #3 today decided to do it herself. When she asked me in her sweet voice if I thought her self-inflicted mullet was cute, all I could do was try to stifle my laughs. I think my giggles would have hurt her feelings more if she weren't old enough (seven in two weeks) to know better. So she asked me to fix her cutting job, and all I could offer was a headband.

To top it off--although this one wasn't too messy--tonight Child #5 came running to me hoping to share his excitement at discovering what was beneath the paper of the presents I had wrapped not 4 1/2 hours earlier. I did lose my temper with that one, but then he and I sat and hugged and I explained that we have to wait before opening them again, and then our whole family would open them together.

Spaghetti Day is history--thank goodness!

MESS UPDATE

Sunday: Not too bad! The kids pulled out toys and papers and crayons to cover the floors, and used my pillows to surf the staircase. Happily, all those things are easy to pick up...which the kids had first-hand experience with on Monday. :-)

Monday: #5 (I have a feeling a lot of entries in this "diary" will begin with "#5") thought playing with his food was better than eating it. He repeatedly dipped his hands in butternut-pumpkin soup, which has a consistency between yogurt and applesauce, and then violently shook the soup off. It ended up on his clothes, the floor and chair, and in his hair. I'm hopeful that butternut doesn't stain. When he was bored with the soup, he mashed his palms into his applesauce. It kind of reminded me of making hand prints in plaster of Paris. I don't know how I missed that he was doing this with me sitting at the same table. I guess the other four kids were distracting me!

Tuesday: No major messes except a regression in the potty training. Consequently, my laundry pile was doubled. Why do kids do great for a week, and then forget about it for a day or two?

Wednesday: Powdered Sugar Day. You would think after a decade of being a mom, I would know better than to leave the powdered sugar shaker sitting out past breakfast. #5 decided to drive that lesson home. I found him licking the sugar out of the sprinkle holes. His black pants were covered in white streaks. I don't know if he was drooling or what, but the sugar on his pants was stuck on. And of course there was powdered sugar all over the carpet, because why would he confine his mess to a tiled floor? Fortunately, I do not fear ants during the winter time, so I left his sticky pants on him until he peed in them (I knew it was coming) and left the sugar to be ground into the carpet and (hopefully) vacuumed sometime before the new year. This is the first--and I'm sure it will be the only--time that I have been grateful for off-white carpet to disguise the mess.

Thursday: This is a sad day indeed. The kids didn't do more than their usual piles of toys. (Today the bar stools were thrown in with the toys as #s 4 and 5 used them to build tables and cars.) No, the big mess today...dare I write it?...was made by me! I left a pressure cooker of black beans unattended while it was heating up and came back to find purplish-black spatters all over the stovetop, on the wall, counter, dishes, papers that were on the counter, everywhere. It didn't explode or anything; it just boiled out of the regulator cap. So be warned. While a watched pot never boils, an unwatched pot will make you wish it hadn't.

Aha! Use

One of my favorite magazines, Real Simple, has an article called "Aha! Uses", which gives readers ideas of different ways to use common household objects. For example, wrapping napkins around a paper towel tube when storing them so they don't get wrinkled. (Secure them with fabric hair elastics.)
For those of you not familiar with my Sunday cooking experiences, let me just say they must be cursed. Back when we prepared meat, I did fine most days, but on Sundays it was either raw or overcooked and tough. With beans, I can cook them all day on Sunday, and they will still be crunchy. Well this past Sunday was no different. I tried a recipe from my trusty bread maker recipe book, and the picture to the left shows what I got. I don't even know what to call it. Incidentally, I think I discovered the recipe for Grape Nuts. I double and triple checked the recipe, and yes, I had followed it, except that I also add dough enhancer. I'm pretty sure this isn't how the dough was supposed to be enhanced!
On Monday, #2 discovered a handout from her teacher that had been buried in her school bag. She was supposed to create a model of a habitat, complete with soil, animals, and plants...and it was due Wednesday. She thought a coral reef would be a fun habitat. So we started brainstorming materials she could use. I thought of tearing up and painting a sponge...and then I turned around and saw my "bread". It was perfect! She painted it with the colors of the rainbow, and it looks just like coral.
This was a really fun project for her. The picture on the bottom is kind of blurry, but the effect with the foil-lined lid on the shoebox felt very underwatery. This may be the first school project that I'm not inclined to throw away. Besides, it can double as food storage, right?






So there you go. My other aha! use for this bread was as cereal. And actually, my Grape Nuts "recipe" wasn't too bad with warm milk!

I bet my family can't wait to see the rolls I'm bringing for Thanksgiving!

Accruing My 15 Minutes

My kids think I'm famous!

This morning I tuned the radio to an FM station that I rarely listen to in hopes of waking up my kids with the upbeat, top 40s music. They were asking listeners to phone in with their favorite "bad" movie. Movies that we love in spite of the horrible reviews. I couldn't resist calling in for Kent. One of his favorite movies is Pee Wee's Big Adventure. We only own a handful of movies, and that is one of them. When I gave that title to the radio host, he just laughed a guttural laugh. I don't think he knew what to say! The conversation turned to the Tequila scene (see below if you have five minutes to waste), and I mentioned that Kent does a pretty good impression of Pee Wee with that dance. We talked for maybe 30 seconds.

Anyway, they recorded the conversation and played it on the radio a few minutes later. After my kids heard it, they were convinced that I am now famous--and so are they by inheritance I guess. It got me thinking. I've been in the newspaper once or twice, on radio twice, and on TV once. (It was a public service commercial on a very small, local TV station when I was a kid.) So how about the rest of you? Any interesting (or dull) moments in the limelight?

Now go ahead and waste five minutes. Enjoy--or not!


P.S. Did you know this is a Tim Burton movie? I'm glad he's improved through the years!

Lowering My Expectations

A speaker in Sacrament Meeting today voiced an idea I've had lately, which is basically that people who expect perfection have little patience with others'--or even their own--shortcomings. I've been thinking that my expectations for my family members are too high and I would be happier if I changed those expectations. For example, if I expect that my youngest will make one mess each day that will require more than a few minutes of my time to clean up, then I won't be so upset when he pours spaghetti all over the first floor of our home and walks around on it to hear it crunch. (When he did this last week, I had to remember to be grateful that at least it was dry noodles.) And when the day comes that he doesn't make any big mess, I can be especially grateful for that! Of course there will be days like the day of the spaghetti incident when he will move from one mess to the next. That day I found him playing in the used cat litter box while I was vacuuming crushed pasta, and after I washed his hands I caught him sucking toilet water out of the bowl through a giant Pixie Stick tube. At this point I can't lower my expectations to three messes per day, and hopefully he'll lose interest in cat and people potties before I have to. But confronting the one big mess, and hoping it's the one and only mess of the day, makes it a lot easier to deal with and exercise greater patience.

Too Bad Halloween Is Over

This is hilarious! I wonder if I could get one of my kids to hold still enough to try this and then to jump or scream after two or three minutes. Enjoy!

S'up fools?

#3 picked the pumpkin for our jack-0'-lantern this year, and we all helped carve it. Thanks to Marshie the Marshmallow for the inspiration. Not familiar with Marshie? Consider yourself normal. You can check him out here http://www.homestarrunner.com/marshie.html and a more Halloween-themed version at http://www.homestarrunner.com/malloween.html

I guess I've been a bit of a Halloween Scrooge this year. I never got the decorations out because I didn't want to add to the existing clutter of our house. But the kids have taken over. They webbed our front porch and hung homemade ghosts. My Scrooginess also meant I didn't go any (let alone all) out for costumes. The school children wear one curriculum-themed costume to school, and then usually something else for trick-or-treating. #1 is a corpse; we found a novel that referenced a corpse, so that worked for the school costume too. #2 was going to be an ancient Egyptian, and then changed to a Roman at the very last second--literally; we had a little melt down trying to get her in the van for carpool. Tonight she's a witch. #3 is Little Red Riding Hood and later a devil. (We couldn't find a way to make a devil fit the curriculum--thank goodness!) #4 is a pumpkin and #5 is an elephant. Fortunately, the two youngest haven't been around long enough to be sick of our old costumes, so they still like these two options.




The kids came through for my costume too. While I was at a meeting last night, Kent took them shopping and they bought a light-up, Halloweeney shirt. So I've decided to be a teenager for Halloween--minus the teenage body! Most impressively, #s 1 and 2 spent their own hard-earned cash for my gift. They both starting tutoring younger neighborhood children last week, and they pooled their earnings. I really wish they would save some for themselves, but how can I say anything against their generosity? I've got great kids!

We Miss You Grandpa

My Grandpa Al passed away two Thursdays ago. We attended his funeral Saturday, and it's given me time to reflect on his life and on the Plan of Salvation. I am grateful to know that his death is just the next step in his progression, and to know that he welcomed that next step, which freed him from illness. I have many childhood memories of being with Grandpa. My earliest is when I was probably three years old, and Grandpa kept sneaking fudge bars from his garage freezer for me. Through the years, he took me fishing, introduced me to liverwurst, complimented my sewing, came to my piano recitals, and always answered my phone calls with such exuberance that I felt like he was celebrating my voice: "It's Mary! How are you Mary?! It's so good to hear from you." My strongest impression of Grandpa Al is how much he loved family. He stayed involved in our lives and he organized family reunions for hundreds of relatives. When I cried at his passing, it was because I will miss him. But I am glad that he is well and with loved ones, and that I will be with him again some future day.

This picture is from last year when we visited my grandparents around Labor Day. Not a great picture of my kids, but my Grandpa is cute. He was trying to get #3 to smile.