Sunday, November 9, 2008

Lowering My Expectations

A speaker in Sacrament Meeting today voiced an idea I've had lately, which is basically that people who expect perfection have little patience with others'--or even their own--shortcomings. I've been thinking that my expectations for my family members are too high and I would be happier if I changed those expectations. For example, if I expect that my youngest will make one mess each day that will require more than a few minutes of my time to clean up, then I won't be so upset when he pours spaghetti all over the first floor of our home and walks around on it to hear it crunch. (When he did this last week, I had to remember to be grateful that at least it was dry noodles.) And when the day comes that he doesn't make any big mess, I can be especially grateful for that! Of course there will be days like the day of the spaghetti incident when he will move from one mess to the next. That day I found him playing in the used cat litter box while I was vacuuming crushed pasta, and after I washed his hands I caught him sucking toilet water out of the bowl through a giant Pixie Stick tube. At this point I can't lower my expectations to three messes per day, and hopefully he'll lose interest in cat and people potties before I have to. But confronting the one big mess, and hoping it's the one and only mess of the day, makes it a lot easier to deal with and exercise greater patience.

5 comments:

Carolyn said...

This has been one of my life philosophies! Expect the worst and you'll usually be pleasantly surprised. It's worked so far.

Charlotte said...

I agree, sometimes our expectations are too high and I hope he looses interest in all potties soon. And if he does, can you tell me how you did it? I am sick of fishing toys out of the bowl.

Debra said...

That was one good sacrament meeting. At least it was one sacrament meeting aimed at my latest needs. I used to think lowering expectations was giving in, but with maturity I realize it's really just accounting for reality.

He may be messy, but he's one creative kid!

Min said...

I agree with Carolyn - I always feel it is best to expect the worst and be surprised rather than have high hopes and be disappointed. Who wants to go through life getting your hopes dashed constantly?

mindy said...

Huh, I'm pretty sure I was there too but don't remember this talk. In any case, I'm glad for this perspective. Right now I need to expect that Spud will have two (in my opinion) unjustified outbursts/tantrums a day and that I'll just need to deal with them calmly. I'll give it a try today. :o) And on those one tantrum days, I'll be grateful!